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  • Writer's pictureKerry Hager

Recreating Life After Loss

At some point we know we have to try. Picking up the pieces after a devastating blow to our lives is daunting, we can't imagine what's next or even how to begin. Sometimes people try too soon before they've really addressed the emotions and that usually doesn't get us too far. It's like coming into port after a long journey but trying to drag the boat by the rope through town. Doesn't work, you won't get too far lugging the boat by the rope.

So what do we do with the boat? Well, first we figure out how to tie it to the dock and we deal with the cargo. I have a program for that, The Grief Recovery Method. 7 weeks to learn tools to help you leave the boat of grief and deal with all the pieces of the relationship you lost directly. All the things you wish could have been better, different or more. All the unrealized hopes, dreams and expectations for the future. All the things you didn't get to say....and more. Dealing with the unfinished business directly helps us resolve the bulk of the pain we have around our loss and prepares us to be lighter and open to happiness again. When that starts to happen, recreating life is possible.

Most programs stop here.....counseling often stops here, it skips the next critical part that we often feel lost about....So now what? When your life is still void of all that you thought it might be....especially with the loss of a partner, but also with the loss of a role like caregiver. You had life set up, you had purpose and meaning, you had direction and a plan and now.....nothing feels the same, you can't even imagine what's next or what you might want without the other. Many times we realize deeply the loss of identity at this point.

I've been here too. I had to make a plan to figure it all out and once I did, I used it successfully to create a 6 month program to help people at this part of their process to put pieces back together again, re-lay a new foundation for life, envision new plans, get clear, be able to read their compass again, grow confidence, take real steps forward, build identity and begin to paint a new reality for their lives. The best part was doing it with personalized live group meetings with a community of people going forward too. I wish I had that part! It can be very lonely doing it all by yourself and it's easy to stop without the check in with others.

If you are a griever who has had a significant loss of spouse or partner in the last several years and are still having trouble, either with the pain of grief, or feeling lost and not being able to create life again, or if you just know you need a community and some concrete steps to follow to be make this easier. I would love to talk to you!

You don't have to do this alone.

Schedule a free consult with me at

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